"Have you not known? Have you not heard? Adonai is the eternal God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow tired or weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives strength to the weary, and to one without vigor He adds might." (Isaiah 40:28-29)
I've been meaning to blog about some of the things Yah has been showing to me for a while now, but I'm learning I must wait to share things out until He tells me it's time.
I began writing this blog during our last few days in Singapore back in March.
Probably the biggest lesson I’m learning is that life is FULL of waiting and that delay is a vital tool that the Father can use in our life to shape us. Waiting is synonymous with trial and struggle: waiting for a spouse, waiting for a call from the doctor with results, waiting for an answer to a question, waiting for a paycheck, waiting to get pregnant, waiting for direction, waiting in line, waiting for paperwork to go through so you can move across the world. Besides the obvious trying circumstances that most find themselves in while waiting I think another reason why this fact of life has bad connotations is because some of us have grown up in an instant gratification culture where everything we want or need is just a click, text or car ride away. We haven't experienced the process allowing time to pass between the start of a thing and its completion. We not only have to wait for things in the physical, but our walk with the Creator and the process of sanctification (or dying to your own desires and character and having them be replaced with His) is a LIFE LONG process - talk about waiting!
The more I think and read about waiting the more I see that the topic is ALL over the Word of Yah. Here are just a few examples:
Psalm 62:1, Genesis 49:18, Psalm 104:27-28, Psalm 145:14-15, Psalm 25:4-5
...just to name a few! (I have to admit I got these scriptures from a source, this WONDERFUL little book I'm reading from time to time called Waiting on God by Andrew Murray. Really helpful!) There is so much I could say about this topic as the Almighty has brought me to new areas of understanding while waiting on Him. I received a fascinating revelation when looking at His Word concerning the topic of waiting. As I have been experiencing the necessity, struggle and ultimate power of "waiting upon the LORD", I was looking at the popular verses at the end of Isaiah 40:28-31 AV (the Authorized Version gives the Strong's numbers on my Bible app)
"Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Looking up that word "wait" in the Hebrew, it's the word הוק qavah kaw–vaw’ meaning to wait, look for, hope, expect. It's those last two definitions that our Creator used to truly hit me this morning and change my perspective. I've been seeking to wait and meditate on Him in personal times of devotion as well as times when I'm needing guidance (sometimes successfully waiting and sometimes not). However, there have been times I've waited on Him in desperation and worry, wondering if He actually would come: come give me what I'm seeking whether it be an answer, provision for a need, or simply His Presence. Then I see the word HOPE and EXPECT and am reminded again of the word in James 1:6-8 AV
"But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."
These words have convicted me ever since I became a believer. I STILL see myself doubting if I will get an answer... not always from the place of doubting Yah's ability - but doubting my worthiness to receive what I am seeking. Our worth in Messiah is a whole other thing that I am learning here. At times the Messiah is my only Companion and Teacher. He is truly beginning to show me my worth in Him despite of wherever I am at on this journey with Him. In any case I am learning that each time I "wait on the LORD" for ANYTHING - I must must must do it with an attitude of thanksgiving, gratefulness and expectation of answer. Even if the answer is no or even if the answer comes through a way that defies my expectations. I really think He is helping me live out one of my life verses that has meant so much to me throughout the years… (thanks to miss Holly Starr who first showed me its significance 😉)
Proverbs 3:5-6 TLV
"Trust in Adonai with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
If I lay aside my own understanding and simply put my trust/hope/confidence/assurance in His ability/timing/faithfulness/promises even when I have not yet seen them - even if they are a very far off (Hebrews 11) I can TRUST that what is coming will be good, because as I continue walking with Him, ALL things will work together for good in the end (Romans 8:28).
There is something that I started to learn in greater depths while in Singapore: deeper trust in the Almighty. I was placed at times in situations that I had no way out of - situations where I was completely out of my comfort zone, utterly out of my control and there was no one around me that was able to help. It was in these times where I literally in my heart had to fling myself upon my Father and cry out to Him to take control. And the results? He ALWAYS came through. I hope and pray that the situations I experienced in Singapore will lead me to a greater trust in Yah so that I no longer have to be a slave to the fear of man, death, pain, discomfort or any of the fears that so often limit what I do for the Father or really, limit what He wants to do for and through me. Only time will tell. All I can say now is that I am SO grateful to have had this experience and am looking forward to a future of more intimacy with and service to my Creator and King.