A Word to My Sisters
Before becoming the many things I have become thus far in my life - a believer of the One true God, an artist, a musician, a world traveler, etc. - I was an older sister. A protective, bossy and sometimes over-bearing older sister (poor Danielle…❤️).
Faults aside, one thing that being an older sister has taught me is to have a strong love for and desire to protect my sister: to see her reach the fullest potential of what God has in store for her (love you Dees 😊). With that has came anxiety and pain, but I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world! It has helped me be able to love in a deeper way than I ever could have before.
That being said, I feel I have a word for all the young ladies (or maybe just all the ladies, including myself) that the Father has placed upon my heart in recent months.
The Father has graciously placed other young women in my life since I became a sister 27 years ago. And, though not as strong, I have a lot of the same cares, concerns and love for each of these dear ladies that I have been blessed to get to know. All this to say, I feel I have seen some concerning patterns and behaviors in a few of my sisters lives that I believe He wants me to address. I’ll start with an affirmation, followed by some caution and encouragement, some needed truths and ending with another encouragement.
First things first, for all women who read this, I have this to say:
YOU ARE PRECIOUS.
And if you are a believer in the one true God and have surrendered your life to His Son, you have a different preciousness that is truly unbelievable. You are bought with the unspeakably precious blood of the Savior of the universe. You are adopted into the family of Almighty God and are HIS. DAUGHTER.
Dwell on these things ladies… deeply consider that the King of the Universe has ADOPTED YOU:
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” 1 John 3:1.
It’s truly beyond comprehension, but - in all humility - we must come to understand and grasp a hold of this fact. He has taken us from our garbage and brought us into His family - we’ve truly become Princesses! Now, we all know how we can be sometimes, and at times it feels that this fact is impossible, but it is imperative to understand that we are NOT who we were before He saved us. We are called to live, become and act out of the new identity that has been bought for us, and no longer live the way we lived before we surrendered to Him.
This brings me to the cautionary note of this post. I have recently observed how many of my younger sisters in the Messiah have been acting and dressing much like the rest of the world does. I think it is so common for all of us to be influenced by what is around us, what will give us the most attention and what will cause us to fit in the best with our peers. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with desiring to be creative with what you wear. I think apparel is a GREAT outlet for creativity! But I think there is an issue when you are exposing excessive amounts of your body, or wearing clothes so tight that it leaves no room to the imagination… that is my concern.
My heart has been radically changed since reading the book “Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control” by Elisabeth Elliot the end of last year. Something that is discussed in the book is the importance of saving yourself for you husband, and that doesn’t just mean sex! It means your emotions, your affection and among other things: your body. Dressing this worldly way also, whether you like it or not, sends a cheapening message about yourself to others. You are worth more, my sisters!! One thing I have learned from reading testimonies as well as just talking with brothers in the LORD is that, what we wear ladies - has a HUGE affect on others. Whether you know it (or like it) or not it’s the truth. When you are exposing your body by what you wear (or don’t wear), you are more likely than not causing guys to lust after you. And remember what Yeshua (Jesus) said about lusting after someone… you are actually committing adultery with them in the heart! (Matthew 5:28). Though nothing truly physical is happening, what happens in the heart is still a serious issue that we need to keep in mind. Besides, dressing this way could actually lead to you being physically taken advantage of as well.
If you’re feeling that you don’t like me very much after reading thus far (😆) I get it. Maybe some of your thoughts are, “Dressing this way is just me expressing myself… I’m just trying to be apart of my culture and fit in with my generation!” However I would like to put fourth a question to you: what if the world is lying to you? What if you can express creativity without wearing revealing clothing? What if you don’t have to blend in with your culture but are actually called to stand out from it?
Sisters, the world IS in fact lying to you. The enemy is LYING to you.
The lie is that you get your worth from what your culture and society (…and boys) think about what you look like. That to be creative you have to dress how everyone in Hollywood is dressing (which is actually the opposite of creativity). It is also a lie to think that what society tells us is an “acceptable” amount of skin to show, is actually acceptable. If anything, I suggest you bring these things to the Father. Check yourself. Check your motives, see where the source of your reactions are coming from. (I know this might be harsh… but sometimes pain is for our good!)
If these words in any way stirred you to perhaps change the way you dress, or even how you act, you might be asking where to start or what to do. “I can see that how I’m presenting myself isn’t lining up with what God desires of me, so… how am I suppose to change, what am I suppose to wear???”
The first place to go is pretty obvious - God Himself! Go to Him in prayer, ask for His forgiveness for wearing what doesn’t please Him and acting in a way that doesn’t please Him. Ask Him to reveal to you the specific things that you wear / things you do / how you act that doesn’t line up with being His child. If you truly desire to obey, and ask for open ears to hear His voice, He will MOST DEFINITELY speak to you. Another place to go is the Word of God - the Bible. Now, I’m not saying to dress as they did in Biblical times 🤣🤣 but I am saying to look at good examples of Biblical characters and see what vocabulary is used to describe how they presented themselves. There are also a few key verses in the New Testament that discuss modesty in heart and dress. Here are a couple to start with: 1 Peter 3:3-4, Romans 12:2, 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (Now, take into mind specific cultural contexts of these verses. Don’t get hung up on the talk about jewelry and braided hair, because there are other places in scripture that mention jewelry in a good light. Look at the heart of what the verse is saying, that your beauty COMES from your heart). Then there’s always Proverbs 31 as a great example of what a woman of valor looks like.
What I pray doesn’t happen in your quest to please the Father with how you present yourself is that you become stuck in what OTHERS think you should wear. Don’t get stuck on the other side of the spectrum of this issue where you are being condemned by others by not being “good enough” by their standard of righteousness and not your Fathers standard. We in the believing community often like to add on extra rules and regulations to follow that the Father never intended. This is not only poor taste, but actually a sin! (Deuteronomy 4:2, 12:32; Revelation 22:18)
To end this post, I just want to encourage you girls - and encourage us all. Don’t let the world influence you: what you think about yourself or others or anything else.
Find your identity in the Messiah alone.
With love, your sister